thanksgiving 2007

in case it isn't ridiculously obvious... i'm so thankful for you. here, i'll be more specific:

i'm thankful for the way you wake up from naps. happy and singing for me to come get you. your face lights up and you giggle like a pillsbury dough boy when you see my face peek over the top of the crib.

i'm thankful for your cute little feet. so tiny and petite i hardly ever have to buy shoes for you because your feet barely grow. such thrifty feet you have. also, you have my toes... which is really something you should be thankful for because i have amazingly cute feet.

i'm thankful for every smile you make. basically, i'm happy you're happy. i try so hard to be the best mom i can for you, and when i see you beaming and giggling and squealing with delight it really makes me feel like i'm doing ok so far. the beginning was so hard - the nicu, prematurity, milk allergies, terrible acid reflux... i was so close to feeling like a total failure. but now you're thriving and beautiful and cheery. being your mama has become so fulfilling and rewarding, and really just so unbelievably happy.

i'm thankful for your scream. recently you've discovered the depths of your voice box. in the middle of grocery shopping, diaper changing, car riding, song singing, food eating - you'll let out the most ear piercing, terradactyl, horror movie, dog whistle of a scream. it's monumental. and then you laugh. so, i give thanks to the fact that you are not screaming because you are pissed and about to throw a fit... you're screaming simply because you can.

i'm thankful for your kicky little legs. i miss them kicking my belly. i miss having you with me every second, all snug and safe and kicky in my belly. the pregnancy overall was a painful experience, but i will always cherish those special moments we had in the evenings, laying in bed (dying of high blood pressure and suffering from insomnia) with my hands on my belly feeling you move around. it was such an amazing experience. now i look at your little kicky legs becoming steady and learning to stand and i'm so proud of all the things you are learning to do. and i'm so thankful that you are healthy enough and smart enough to do them.

i'm thankful that you made me a mother. your nana thanks me for this every year on my birthday, and every mother's day. i didn't really get it until now. you've changed my life more than anyone ever has or ever will. you took me from ordinary person - to extraordinary mother. that's kind of a big deal. you totally win. i love being your mom. i will thank you for that gift every mother's day and every march 2nd.

most of all, thank you for being you. i promise to do my best to give you the tools to become the best you that you can be.

i couldn't be any more thankful for you if i was wearing a pilgrim hat and playing football with a turkey.

xoxo

-mama

another inbetweener

dear claire,

when you are 21 years old remind me to buy you a drink. you totally deserve one. it's been a really rough week for your poor little mouth. i'd totally buy you a drink now (you seem like you need it!) but i don't think even the best fake ID would score you a seat at the bar at this point in your life.

TEETHING BITES.

sorry pookie.

-mama

eight months

dear claire,

this month has been a VERY busy month for you. you've learned to spit. which is such a charming quality. your nana taught you how to blow in peoples faces. extremely polite. you've figured out how to hit people, knock things off of tables, eat magazines, and lunge for objects like hot coffee, scissors and wine glasses. you are not very safe. cue the phase of your life where i can not take my eyes off you for even a second. not only because i love you and enjoy staring at your pretty face, but because you may be doing things like tampering with my bottle of xanax and eating glass. i expect that our lives will only get more exciting from here on out.

welcome, and enjoy your stay, mr. and mrs. two first teeth! we hope you like the accommodations provided by claire's mouth. it may be a rocky ride and you've definitely got your work cut out for you (see above - glass eating), however i can assure you that you will not go unnoticed. we truly appreciate every bucket load of drool, .o8ml of infant tylenol, and sleepless nights you've incurred leading up to your arrival. i hope you continue to grow and supply us with many years of hard work so that your extended voyage into claire's mouth will not be in vain. peace, love, and good luck.

this month you've learned how to play with your toys. you very carefully inspect your books. you bend over into sitting taco position so that you can get a good look. santa may bring you a magnifying glass for christmas. also, you love to bang on your drums, and hit your little disney music playing thingy you have. one day when you were really grumpy you hit your disney toy and it did not make music like it was supposed to. so you leaned over and got all up in its business and CRIED AT IT. "how DARE you not do as i say you stupid toy! maybe you need to go back to the toy academy and learn how to do your job!" then you hit it again. it started to play its music. your cries turned into a less sad whimper. you hit it again. nothing. then you screamed so loudly that i decided it was probably a good idea to take a nap. and i was right. when you cry at your toys for not obeying you - it's time to rethink the day.

i am very sad to say that you and ava the cat had a slight run-in this month. you were sitting patiently waiting to be fed and ava decided to keep you company. she inadvertently got a little too close. your eyes lit up, your arm reached out, your fat little finger touched her fur and like a bolt of lightening you clamped down your grabby little hand into her side and refused to let go. oh, until she BIT YOU. i have never seen ava so sad in my entire life. she totally knew that biting the baby was against the rules, but you gave her no choice! she looked so ashamed, so damaged, so undeserving of her miserable little life. you, on the other hand, didn't even notice. when she turned to bite you, you were so pleased at the attention she was giving you that you forgot what you were doing and released your death grip. she only gave you a little nibble that left a red mark for a few minutes, but it didn't break the skin. you know what DID break? ava's heart.

last week you and i went grocery shopping for the first time in months (they sell wine, baby food and lean cuisines at target - and that's all i really need). WHY, oh why do the people at the grocery store think that its a place to socialize? it's a place to purchase meat and liquor. that's it.

old lady stranger: OMG what a beautiful baby!

me: oh, thank you. (being polite, but in a please-stop talking to me kinda way)

old lady stranger: (turns to you) HI LITTLE GIRL, WELL AREN'T YOU A CUTIE PATOOTIE!

you: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (reaching for me HYSTERICALLY like someone is trying to murder you)

so i pick you up and turn the other direction.

old lady stranger: oh i guess she doesn't like me.

me: sorry

you: (calming down)

old lady stranger: (looks at you)

you: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

old lady stranger: (walks away)

from that point on, i kid you not, any time anyone in the store made eye contact with you, you would start to whimper. and you don't even wanna know what happened to the checker who tried to pinch your cheeks. he's lucky he's still alive. you are such a little social butterfly. i am so proud. stranger = danger

this month we "celebrated" your first halloween. ok, well i dressed you up in your costume for 20 minutes, took some pictures and then you went to bed. party animal. or should i say party bird?

every month you come up with all these new incredible things you can do. and every thing you do makes me love you even more. your spectrum of amazing just keeps expanding. i remember thinking you were so great when you were this little 4lb fetus in an incubator. you didn't even do anything, and i would get so excited to go see you. i would sit in the nicu rocking chair and stare at you and watch your belly move up and down. now, after a busy day of running errands you and i will pull up to the driveway and i'll open the back door do get you out of your car seat, but you are fast asleep. i will get back in the car and sit there in the back seat, right next to you, and take your little hand in mine and just relax. and stare at you. and breathe. and remember that in the blink of an eye you will be so grown up that you will be driving the car, instead of sleeping like a little angel in the back seat. my beautiful little angel.




love you more than its even possible,

mama