five months

dear my lady,

congratulations and welcome to five months old. since you're such a big girl now, we've bumped your curfew to 6pm and if you keep your grades up we'll let you have a corona with dinner.

i remember when you were super crazy tiny and people would tell me "don't wish away the newborn stage, they grow up SO FAST." i would gaze at them with drowsy, delirious eyes and remind myself that THEY didn't have to wake up every 3 hours every single day, only to be rewarded with ear-piercing screams and poop diapers. i would sit around in a zombie-like state with baby puke running down my cleavage and mascara all over my face, day dreaming of your future smiles and chuckles and ability to hold up your own head. guess what, baby? THAT DAY HAS COME.

you are super fun now. this month you've found both your feet and your hands. fists are the most delicious things you have ever tasted in your entire life. you are so happy to see them each time. when you get bored you start to get really mad. you look around angrily - there must be something interesting around here - and then voila! a fist appears out of thin air, just waiting to be gnawed on. and just when it seems life couldn't get any better, something catches your eye... is it?... no... it couldn't be... A FOOT! i was watching you the first moment you realized your foot was attached to your body and you could make it do stuff. you seemed really confused. it will all make sense soon enough, i promise. you'll use that foot to kick some ass eventually.

you've become quite independent this month. you are trying your hardest to hold you own bottle. i consider this good practice for future wine bottle holding. not to mention the fact that this frees up mama's hand to hold my own bottle. very important. you've also discovered that your voice does a little more that ahhhh and ooooo.... it also SQUEALS. like a mermaid. every time you squeal i look over and expect you to be on the verge of tears. your squeal sounds so mad! but you are happy. you couldn't be any happier if your squeals were laced with nipples and clean diapers. you've just discovered a new sound you're capable of sharing with the world. and you are forcing everyone to love the sound of a high pitched, glass breaking, ear drum shattering squeal.... all because you accompany it with your adorable smile.

This month you celebrated your first 4th of july. you are very patriotic. we went to the yacht club with the cusworth's. you stayed awake pretty much the entire time. it was ridiculous. i tried to lay you in your stroller, but standing strong on your "refusing to use anything with the laura ashley cantebury print" rule, you opted out of a stroller nap. much like you have continuously opted out of your car seat. your carphobia came close to giving me a stroke last week driving home from the zoo - so we didn't even go home. with you FLIPPING OUT in the back seat i drove to your nana's, handed my sweet little hysterical baby to her and headed to target to buy you a new carseat. your carphobia has almost completely disappeared. apparently eddie bauer is much more acceptable than laura ashley. GOD BLESS AMERICA.

you've been telling us lots of stories lately. most of them involve "ah-goo", "hoo", and "lala", and almost all of them end happily with squeals of delight and a good fist gnawing session. you tell much more exciting stories than i do. most of mine involve "yahoo", "ho", and "yomama", and usually end with the revelation that i am better than everyone else. sometimes when you notice i may be feeling left out you grab my finger and try to gnaw on MY hand. or my shoulder, or my eyelid. really, whatever is closest. i am the most delicious mama ever.

speaking of delicious, have you any idea how delicious you are? you keep getting better and better. perfection is hard to improve on (i would know), but you manage to do it every single day. your legs keep getting longer, your eyes brighter, your smile bigger, you skin softer, your voice sweeter, your arms stronger, your laugh louder... you just, you really complete me. i didn't even know my life was missing something so huge and important until you came along and filled it up. and every moment you grow, i grow with you - as a mother, and a person. you give me an excuse to feel good, even during times when there's not much to feel good about.

i just love you,

mama