dear claire,
i was thinking the other day while we were sitting in the urgent care exam room. i was watching your tummy squeeze every muscle as tight as it could to push the air in and out of your body. i was waiting for the medicine to work, for the doctor to come back, for you to feel ok again. i was thinking about how there is so much talk about how being a parent is such a "responsibility". we use that word to scare teenagers into using condoms, to make excuses for why we are tired or busy or stressed or broke. children, they are such gigantic "responsibilities".
when i was pregnant with you a "friend" told me that i didn't understand how big of a responsibility a child was. she told me that she didn't think i was mature enough to be responsible for another person for the next 18 years. she suggested that i shouldn't continue the pregnancy.
but as it turns out, you're not a chore, a burden or an anchor. i realized the other night when i was watching your little body once again struggle to breathe... you're not a responsibility. you're not an obligation or a duty. i wasn't put out by having to sit in the urgent care for 4 hours because i'd signed some "i'm a parent" contract. i don't make a living being your mother. and you're certainly not a reflection of my maturity.
anyone can be a responsible parent. keep the children away from matches and carry tylenol in your pocket, etc. the really good parents are the ones who know that love comes first. so no, being a parent isn't about responsibilities. she was wrong, and i'm glad i didnt listen.
i'll sit in any uncomfortable urgent care, er and hospital chair in the world if it means i get to hold your hand and help make you feel better. not because you are my responsibility, but you are just simply a pleasure. you are joy, happiness and hope. you are my baby. the only thing left for me to do is love you. luckily, i'm really good at doing that.
you make it so easy.
-mama.
i was thinking the other day while we were sitting in the urgent care exam room. i was watching your tummy squeeze every muscle as tight as it could to push the air in and out of your body. i was waiting for the medicine to work, for the doctor to come back, for you to feel ok again. i was thinking about how there is so much talk about how being a parent is such a "responsibility". we use that word to scare teenagers into using condoms, to make excuses for why we are tired or busy or stressed or broke. children, they are such gigantic "responsibilities".
when i was pregnant with you a "friend" told me that i didn't understand how big of a responsibility a child was. she told me that she didn't think i was mature enough to be responsible for another person for the next 18 years. she suggested that i shouldn't continue the pregnancy.
but as it turns out, you're not a chore, a burden or an anchor. i realized the other night when i was watching your little body once again struggle to breathe... you're not a responsibility. you're not an obligation or a duty. i wasn't put out by having to sit in the urgent care for 4 hours because i'd signed some "i'm a parent" contract. i don't make a living being your mother. and you're certainly not a reflection of my maturity.
anyone can be a responsible parent. keep the children away from matches and carry tylenol in your pocket, etc. the really good parents are the ones who know that love comes first. so no, being a parent isn't about responsibilities. she was wrong, and i'm glad i didnt listen.
i'll sit in any uncomfortable urgent care, er and hospital chair in the world if it means i get to hold your hand and help make you feel better. not because you are my responsibility, but you are just simply a pleasure. you are joy, happiness and hope. you are my baby. the only thing left for me to do is love you. luckily, i'm really good at doing that.
you make it so easy.
-mama.
3 comments:
hear hear! I think those thoughts all the time. When is the "burden of the responsibility" going to show up? Because in 2.5 years of my son's existence, I've yet to see it. That was wonderful to read. Thanks for putting it out there. Hope your sweet baby is feeling better! Happy Mother's Day!
Michelle
http://www.everydaycelebrating.com
youre such a good mommy! and i hope that 'friend' is out of your life now. she's not so 'friendly' and not in my group.
wow...I'm officially hooked on your blog!
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