dear claire,
i have in my hand a crisp $20 bill. it's all yours if you stop growing up SO DAMN FAST. i mean, i don't want you to be like an elf or an umpaloompa or one of those strangely small women who shop in 'limited too' or something, but for the love of ham sandwiches do you know what we did tonight?... we painted your nails. hot pink. and then you gently blew on them. and then you looked at me and said "brrrit-taaaay!" so stop, ok? just stop. rewind a bit... maybe not all the way to colic crazy mcscreamerville, but how about those good ole' days when you stayed in one place, and goo gooed and ga gaad and didn't throw things at my face when you got mad? thanks. twenty bucks, thanks.
on the bright side, you're really fun. this whole learning-to-talk phase you've entered is just hilarious. you have about twenty-five useful words in your vocabulary, another five that mean something that someone in one of your other lives must have taught you (i have NO freaking idea what "bapo" means, but you seem to), and when you're in the right mood you will attempt to repeat pretty much anything i ask you to. including "love you", "cheers" and "obama looks like a retarded chimpanzee". i'm sorry, but he kinda does. talking is definitely one of your mad skillz... right up there with ruining expensive makeup and eating things off the ground that may or may not be day old cheerios.
this month you've kind of reminded me of one of those robots that becomes self-aware. you've been this little programmed pooping, screaming, effing stuff up machine until recently. you've discovered that you have a belly button, tooting is funny (i would like to go on record that i did NOT teach you that), and you are beginning to understand your feelings, and other's feelings. now your tantrums end with reaching out to me for a hug, instead of falling asleep on the floor. now you laugh at something funny (like a toot) and then look to me to see if i thought it was funny too (i do not). now you are beginning to realize that if you fall and i'm not there to catch you it will probably hurt, and if you do something hilarious and i'm not there to see it, it's not quite as hilarious.
you are the most empathetic child i've ever met. if you hit me and i make a sad face you realize you've hurt me and you start to cry and throw your arms around me. it's both incredibly pathetic and the sweetest thing i've ever witnessed. you remind me that in my hard-ass grownup world of paperwork, curse words and speeding tickets, people have feelings. and we should simmer down and care a little bit more about other people's feelings. in other words... pour your friend a glass of wine before you pour your own, she might need it more. you are wise beyond your years, darlin'.
i love that you are becoming your own person. there's been a lot of she-looks-like-me's in the last 16 months, but i think you've finally developed your little personality enough where i look at you, and i just see Claire. you move your own little way and look your own little looks and you're finally just YOU. you are constantly giving everyone more qualities to love about you.
your dad and i filed for divorce last week. it's stirred up a lot of guilty feelings on my part. i so badly don't want any decisions i've made in my life to hurt your life, ever. i swear to god i will make sure you have two really really fantastic homes. i've struggled with a lot of shoulda coulda woulda's in the last 16 months. but i've realized recently that the roads i've taken, good and bad, they've led me to you. and you to me. had i never gotten married, had i never gotten pregnant, had i never gotten divorced.... we wouldnt be the "us" that we are now. i love us. and i wouldnt trade this us for any other us in the world.
love you just as we are.
-mama
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." — Douglas Adams
i have in my hand a crisp $20 bill. it's all yours if you stop growing up SO DAMN FAST. i mean, i don't want you to be like an elf or an umpaloompa or one of those strangely small women who shop in 'limited too' or something, but for the love of ham sandwiches do you know what we did tonight?... we painted your nails. hot pink. and then you gently blew on them. and then you looked at me and said "brrrit-taaaay!" so stop, ok? just stop. rewind a bit... maybe not all the way to colic crazy mcscreamerville, but how about those good ole' days when you stayed in one place, and goo gooed and ga gaad and didn't throw things at my face when you got mad? thanks. twenty bucks, thanks.
on the bright side, you're really fun. this whole learning-to-talk phase you've entered is just hilarious. you have about twenty-five useful words in your vocabulary, another five that mean something that someone in one of your other lives must have taught you (i have NO freaking idea what "bapo" means, but you seem to), and when you're in the right mood you will attempt to repeat pretty much anything i ask you to. including "love you", "cheers" and "obama looks like a retarded chimpanzee". i'm sorry, but he kinda does. talking is definitely one of your mad skillz... right up there with ruining expensive makeup and eating things off the ground that may or may not be day old cheerios.
this month you've kind of reminded me of one of those robots that becomes self-aware. you've been this little programmed pooping, screaming, effing stuff up machine until recently. you've discovered that you have a belly button, tooting is funny (i would like to go on record that i did NOT teach you that), and you are beginning to understand your feelings, and other's feelings. now your tantrums end with reaching out to me for a hug, instead of falling asleep on the floor. now you laugh at something funny (like a toot) and then look to me to see if i thought it was funny too (i do not). now you are beginning to realize that if you fall and i'm not there to catch you it will probably hurt, and if you do something hilarious and i'm not there to see it, it's not quite as hilarious.
you are the most empathetic child i've ever met. if you hit me and i make a sad face you realize you've hurt me and you start to cry and throw your arms around me. it's both incredibly pathetic and the sweetest thing i've ever witnessed. you remind me that in my hard-ass grownup world of paperwork, curse words and speeding tickets, people have feelings. and we should simmer down and care a little bit more about other people's feelings. in other words... pour your friend a glass of wine before you pour your own, she might need it more. you are wise beyond your years, darlin'.
i love that you are becoming your own person. there's been a lot of she-looks-like-me's in the last 16 months, but i think you've finally developed your little personality enough where i look at you, and i just see Claire. you move your own little way and look your own little looks and you're finally just YOU. you are constantly giving everyone more qualities to love about you.
your dad and i filed for divorce last week. it's stirred up a lot of guilty feelings on my part. i so badly don't want any decisions i've made in my life to hurt your life, ever. i swear to god i will make sure you have two really really fantastic homes. i've struggled with a lot of shoulda coulda woulda's in the last 16 months. but i've realized recently that the roads i've taken, good and bad, they've led me to you. and you to me. had i never gotten married, had i never gotten pregnant, had i never gotten divorced.... we wouldnt be the "us" that we are now. i love us. and i wouldnt trade this us for any other us in the world.
love you just as we are.
-mama
"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." — Douglas Adams
4 comments:
Hi! Your little girl is so cute! I make hairbows and was wondering if I sent you some free ones if you could do a couple of photos for me! You can see them at www.jimdearanddarling.etsy.com!
Thanks so much!
Jess
Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle: http://tinyurl.com/5p8q7b
She is adorable!
PS Found you through Good Mom/ Bad Mom.
This is a great post. It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time!
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